Our New Hair & Body Care Products

October 8, 2011


Seaweed Moisturizing Cream

This all-natural hand and face cream restores moisture particles to the skin with a nutrient rich kelp-based colloidal. It’s clinically proven to restore and rejuvenate.

Milkweed Hydrating Shampoo

This weed puts moisture back in your follicles by spraying milk into them, restoring your hair to the way it felt when you were in first grade and fell into a bramble patch and spilled vanilla ice cream in your bangs.

Mondane “Dry Shampoo”

What is a dry shampoo? It’s a kind of powder that you put on your hair to freshen it up on a day when you don’t shower. I honestly had no idea that women use this.

Root Repair Tea Tree Blend Scalp Moisturizer

A lot of you web site readers have been writing in with negative feedback on the product descriptions. I’m doing my best, as Marney is on her honeymoon until the 22nd and you could say I am doing the company a favor here for no extra pay. Did you think about looking at it more from a “gratitude” POV?  

Oatmeal Fig Shampoo

The real secret to this restorative shampoo is … wait for it – shiitake! but we don’t put that on the main label due to focus groups telling us it makes it sound like there is “shit” in the shampoo. Fair enough.

Shiitake Butt Cleanser

Less of a problem here, obviously.

PANGEA All-in-One Super-Cream

Wouldn’t be a bad idea, IMHO. Something that could take care of skin problems, hair problems and emotional problems all in one smear.

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Coconut Body Butter!

Just brainstorming here, guys.

Brazilian Blowout Acai Anti-Frizz

Listen, I think a lot of you could use your time more constructively than by flaming me in the forum or trying to solve your problems with hair products.

And, FYI, yes, I AM aware of my profile at eharmony so please stop sending me screenshots. That’s an old ad that got out there and went viral, and I cannot just magically erase the it from the internet. I don’t use styling gel AT ALL anymore, so that pretty much negates your argument. I do still love the book about the gorilla and would be interested to connect with a woman who can appreciate what apes and primates can each us about the human condition.

Brazilian Blowout Acai Anti-Frizz

I am not a wordsmith obviously but as I said, volunteered to keep the products on the site up to date.

Restorative Zombie Salve: Bring Your Hair and your Career and Your Love Life Back from the Dead!

How do you make a “spooky” font on a PC?

Volumizing Vitamin Mons Wash

Let me put my cards on the table: Kristy (yes, you, VP of Marketing Kristy): if you are reading this the actual reason I applied for this internship was a photo and bio I found of you on the NatureSoothe web site. Have you ever been with a 24-year old guy? It’s pretty awesome.

Gingko Biloba Bullshit Balm  

Okey dokey, phone is starting to blow up here, guys. Got a bad feeling about this. It’s been fun. Peace out. 

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